Thursday, September 3, 2020

The Real Story

With all the chatter going on about Tr*mp's "mini-strokes," I figure I ought to tell you what really was happening that day at Walter Reade.  I have absolutely no evidence, but hey, it's 2020 — and it sounds good!  What more could you want?

 Frankly, I was sure about what was going on the day the news broke about Tr*mp's surprise hospital visit.  News that Pence was put on-call "in case" Our President needed anesthesia has only confirmed what I thought then.  Anesthesia was planned: Tr*mp was scheduled for a colonoscopy.  Unless he chickened out, Pence actually got to be president for fifteen or twenty minutes.

Of course, a colonoscopy is pretty standard for a man in his seventies – so one might wonder why it was such a big secret.  The answer, of course, is Tr*mp's fragile ego and macho pretensions.  He just couldn't stand that anybody might envision him bare-ass with some guy probing between those enormous buttocks.  (I don't much like envisioning it myself.)

If you really need confirmation, you might want to check how much tweeting he did the night before.  He'd have spent quite a bit of time on the toilet.


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