Saturday, November 14, 2015

An Immodest Proposal

Like just about everybody else who isn't an Islamic extremist, I'm upset and angered by yesterday's attacks in Paris.  At times like these, one's thoughts are inclined to turn towards revenge.

Needless to say, it is very difficult, to say the least, to take revenge on a suicide bomber.  Nevertheless, I've had some thoughts on the matter.  Given that the perpetrators of such attacks are motivated by religion, and assuming that such religionists are generally irrational (not to mention dead), and given that they expect rewards in an "afterlife," I've come up with a means to screw with their religiously inspired brains that might have some sort of impact: ritual pollution.

Gather up the remains of the attackers.  Pack them in lard before dumping them into the ocean, where their bodies cannot be recovered and "purefied."  Surely, the stench of pork grease would be so offensive to their medieval concept of Allah that entry into Paradise would be out of the question.  I have other ideas for any captured alive, involving lard as a lubricant and homosexual rapists, but I suspect the "enlightened" Western world would disapprove; on the other hand, given that the CIA has shown itself to be impervious to Western Enlightenment, I suppose we could get around such disapproval if amply motivated.

Outrageous?  You betcha!  More outrageous than murdering random innocents?  I don't think so.  If such a policy dissuades a few angry, misguided young people from strapping on suicide bombs, I think a dose of political incorrectness would be perfectly okay.  Hell, even if it didn't slow the rate of extremist atrocities one bit, it still would make me feel better.

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