The Original Message to the Schoolchildren

Yo, lil homies. Uh, I mean, greetings, children.

My advisers tell me we can't sing the Internationale to start the program this morning, but I still want to remind you that it really is the final conflict, and that the international working class will, one day, be the human race. You want to be part of the human race - don't you? Yes, I thought so.

So let's all make lovely red flags in art class today, and fly them high over our socialized public schools. When uncle Barack Hussein takes mommy and daddy's guns away, life will be lovely - we will breed all you little girls with your blond ringlets with big black studs, and produce a new race of Spanish speaking homosexuals of indeterminate race and gender. Won't that be fun? Don't worry boys, we haven't forgotten you - uncle Barack Hussein wants you all to marry each other, and I'll make sure you have all the Medicaid dollars you need to have those perverted welfare babies everybody knows are so cool. All you have to do is kill Grandma.

So work hard, kids, and go to liberal coastal colleges where we can finish your indoctrination. Mommy and Daddy are doodyheads, and uncle Rush is even a worse Nazi than me...

...

(The real hell of it is that they're attacking a centrist - and today's centrist (Obama) is about on a par with Wendell Wilkie. Well, we'll see what he has to say about health care tomorrow night.)